Honeymoon-period ends.

I hated Germany when i first landed here. I didn't have a one Euro coin at the baggage counter of the Frankfurt airport to be able to take a trolly-car for my monster bag and so, ended up dragging it and lifting it and fumbling around with it while making my way to the other terminal for my connecting flight. As I went ahead for checking-in my luggage, it seemed my bags had gained weight on flight and I cringed as the lady at the counter eyed my 50 Euros. I had an unpleasant exchange of words with the security personnel when he threw away my favourite bottle of water which was empty. And then, I had to wait for 6 hours for my flight to Dresden. I couldn't contact family and friends because there was no free wi-fi and all computer terminals wanted small coins to function. During those 6 hours I cursed myself heavily for ever choosing to accept this scholarship. I fell into deep pits of depression, and jet-lag and lack of sleep didn't help either. If someone would have handed me a flight ticket to India, I would have grabbed it and made my way to the flight as fast as possible. I'm glad that didn't happen!

Seven hours later when I landed at Dresden and made my way to the Goethe-Institute in a Mercedes-Benz taxi, it felt like God had taken pity on me. The warm welcome at the institute and free wi-fi after hours felt like bliss, and when I saw my Mother's face on my computer screen, I fought back tears and faked enthusiasm. I received keys to my single room at the International Student's guesthouse at the Dresden-Altstadt (Old Town) and as the taxi drove me over the river Elbe revealing the historic Altstadt, I knew things could only get awesome from now on! That moment onwards, I loved every single thing around me - my single room, the large windows, the view and the cleaning ladies who would shine up my room every two weeks and leave the pillow puffed up on the immaculate white bed.

The five months that I spent learning German at the Goethe institute was the Honeymoon Period. It was everything that I had ever dreamed of and craved for. Learning a new language in it's country with people from all over the world, meeting people and exchanging ideas, travelling to my heart's content with new friends, trying new food, having a variety of experiences with people and places, being independent (and responsible), barbecues, international dinners, night outs, making close friends and being paid for doing all this - if this isn't (academic) honeymoon period, nothing is! ;-)

I thought while managing resources and doing everything by myself I had grown up in those five months, but now I realise it was a cake-walk.

The day I began packing and placing things back into my suitcase to move to Erfurt, my heart broke and its pieces sank. My dream-life was facing its closure and my bags were heavy beyond expectations.    I was anxious about sharing an apartment, which i had never done before. How do strangers share a kitchen and bathrooms, I couldn't imagine.

When I entered my room here in Erfurt, i felt a blow of disappointment inside me. I decided I would move out as soon as possible. To say the least, it was dirty.  The dust gave me an allergy that very evening and I felt feverish when I thought about all the work and patience that the place demanded of me. And then, like a saviour, came Ikea! The home-improvement store. (Did I just sound like a cheap advertisement for Ikea? I must have. I am now so well versed with the huge store that I could be a tour-guide inside it.)  My equally hassled friends and I made five trips in one week to this shop to turn our rooms into our 'homes'. We had to put in that extra effort to be able to make ourselves love this space which would be our home for the next years. We had to define our rooms well so as to be ready to face the not-so-colourful winter and heavy academic doses after all those beautiful summer months and intellectual rest! Bright bed-clothes, curtains, lampshades, orchids, paper bins, utensils, mirrors, candles - we were the typical desperate shopaholics. We convinced each other and ourselves that we 'needed' a big lamp-shade or a carpet in our rooms to feel at home.

I never imagined setting up home was such a task. But, I also realised that we all carry our homes within us at all times. Finally, after about two weeks of being here and breaking our heads and bodies over making our new apartments 'lovable and livable' (as my parents call my room), most of us feel confident and comfortable about our new spaces.

I have begun to move-on. My love affair with my life at Dresden is coming to a close. University and the grilling that accompanies it, begin on Monday.

Being away from Home

My 23rd birthday brought with it my many Firsts. It has been three months since I arrived in Dresden and started a new life, a life so different from the one that I had back home. Living all by myself, managing money that for the first time was strictly limited, cooking without my Mother's supervision, doing laundry and remembering to keep my kitchen stocked up, waking up to the annoying alarm rings and making myself breakfast while struggling to convince myself to do the same- these are things I always knew I'll have to do some day, and I had always looked forward to being independent; but when it actually hit me, it overwhelmed me. The realisation that I couldn't ask for a few crispy notes from my Father's wallet after I had finished my Month's pocket-money, felt like a jolt. Eating my meals all alone with a movie playing on my computer months after months makes me miss the rule back home- the family eats together, no matter what! Yes, I do miss home...but, that doesn't mean I want to leave this life and go back. Not yet!

This place and this life makes me stronger as a person, and I think I'll finally 'grow up'. It is a bitter-sweet experience and so far, more sweet than bitter. New experiences, new places, new people, new food, new languages, new cultures, new everything! Isn't this what I have always craved for and isn't this what I enthusiastically signed up for when I signed on the scholarship acceptance form?! As my parents and professors said, living abroad all by myself wouldn't be full of sunshine always; there'll be dark, cold and gloomy days too. Starting to learn from scratch about surviving, living and being all by oneself can be disorienting at times- especially when one desires to do a lot of things and 'experience it all'. So, I often tell myself, 'Hey, what's the hurry? slow down a bit!'. 

I have realised that there'll be Good-byes and Hellos galore. As I visit new places and meet new people, goodbyes will follow invariably. It is astonishingly easy to be good to people here and also to get attached to them knowing fully well that if not you, they will leave...soon. Being far away from family and friends that you grew up with makes you want to cling desperately to someone who seems even slightly similar. I guess that is the reason why it is so easy and quick to make friends here; because everyone wants to feel at home. The more goodbyes this place makes you say, the more independent and strong you become as a person. And, the better you understand the worth of the 'permanent people' in your life. I have realised that being far from home doesn't make you distant. It only strengthens the bond, and makes you value your roots more than you previously did. When something beautiful takes away my breath and i turn to no body in particular to point it out to them, i understand how important it is to share your happiness with your favourite people! 

I am amidst some wonderfully interesting people here. My friends here hail from different parts of the world, their countries so far away from mine, and their cultures so different from mine, we could be from different planets. Yet, there's something so basic, simple and beautiful that binds us together and makes us want to be 'there for each other'. We tell each other how we have to be family for the next two years (the few of us that'll be together). And, that's how we understand how important our families and friends back home are...when we strive to find a temporary replacement! 

Executing the 'Master Plan'

The Master plan has always been to be able to travel and to experience novelty and an adrenalin rush at all moments. It took a long time for my travel lust to get an opportunity to satiate itself, but the wait makes it sweeter and more treasured. Ever since I can remember, I have been hooked on to travel shows dreaming of being a 'Traveller'; and, that's what my answer used to be to the eternal and almost automated question "What do you want to be when you grow up?". I never said I wanted to be a travel-show host, I just always wanted to be in the places they showed and do the things they did, so, I wanted to be just a Traveller. Not to mention the confused follow-up questions this would inspire! I grew up watching Samantha Brown's and Ian Wright's travel chronicles and I continue to admire and envy them.

Getting a scholarship to study in Germany has encouraged the travel bug to bite me even harder. Being here for the next 2 years and a half has filled me with the desire to walk all over Europe and know it's story as much as I can. Travelling is much more than a leisure activity for me. It's not what I like to do when I have a few free days. It is something I want to do all the time, and when i choose not to travel, that'll be my free time. That is of course, the ideal situation. I don't travel to escape the monotony of life. I travel because, for me it is the best way to find myself and to know myself better. It is like meditation for me. Everyone has different reasons to travel and all are equally valid, of course. Every time I have traveled to a new place or a known place, I have invariably discovered a new aspect of me. When I meet new people, see new places and terrain, and eat new food, I learn. I learn how we are all different and yet so inherently similar. I learn about the things that make us different and the things that make us one. It is so easy to spot the differences when one is detached from one's environment, but try going deeper and you will marvel at what you unravel.

My first stop in what I termed in one of my careless Facebook updates, "My European Conquest", was Budapest. I started out with very superficial knowledge about the city. It is the capital of Hungary, it is the capital of baths and spas, and it has a beautiful Parliament. When I entered the train that would take me to Budapest, all I could say to myself was "I'm travelling". 'Travelling' includes all things special for me. The moment I stepped out of the subway and onto the open in the city, I knew it was special. All places have a soul and if you're receptive enough, you can check if it is congruous with you in a jiffy. The three days I spent in Budapest are so special that I am sure the sight and memories of the place will linger on for very long. And, by virtue of the DSLR camera that I have finally managed to grasp, the sights the place offered to me will stay on, though in miniatures. Pictures are of course the best souvenirs. They are saturated with memories. When memory fails, look at the relevant picture to let the memories flood back.


Budapest is an architectural marvel. Baroque, Eclectic, Rococo, art-nouveau all manifesting their majestic best in a single city can be overwhelming and can induce speechlessness. Separated by the river Danube, Buda and Pest are two very different entities of a single city. While Buda has a rocky and uneven terrain studded with structures more traditional, Pest lies on plain land and hence easier to negotiate. Pest is a blend of ancient and modern, a mix so perfect. 

The River Danube, with Buda on the left and Pest on the right.

We were five of us who had travelled to Budapest. While two of us, Nasser and me had our hostel in Pest, our friends were at a hostel across the river in Buda. Technology failed and the two groups failed to communicate and hence meet despite being in the same city. That is a hint towards how separated Buda and Pest are despite being one. The two and a half days that we spent in Budapest, we walked as much as we could and at times even pushed ourselves. We got lost a number of times but always managed to find our way back to familiar places. After all, isn't getting lost the best way to find oneself! Most of the times our incentive to the long walks would be "grand meals" that we would promise ourselves. The food touched my soul. There were so many options that I felt helpless and miserable when I had to make the decision; and i'm quite sure Nasser felt the same way when he passed on the baton to me. I still believe his claim that I "needed practice at decision-making" was actually just convenient for him! I disliked the thought of having to miss out on 'the other option' and being the reason for it! Since we shared immense interest in food, we ended up blowing up an indecent amount of money over food. We both agreed that it made no sense to travel to Hungary to eat hot-dogs and sandwiches to save money for other things. What 'other things', we asked!

The Hungarian Goulash has a 'family-meal' feel to it

My first meal in Budapest. How i wish it would never finish! 'Pike perch fillet with dil shrimp ragout served with parsley potatoes.'

Sailing on the boat down the river Danube was the highlight of the trip. We had to make a short race against time to catch the last boat of the evening; the gates closed right at my heels. What followed was a 30 minute dream. Passing under the bridges and sailing past the Hungarian parliament is a feeling to which words can't do justice. All I know is, I kept my senses alert to be able to absorb the cool river breeze and all the shapes and colours available in sight. The Parliament is majestic.

Colours.

As the sun began to set, it bled bright and intriguing colours all across the sky, over the structures on the either side of the river and on the river. The way all of them reciprocated to the setting sun almost made it look like a conversation! The boat left us at the Margaret Island, which is in the middle of the Danube. We walked along the banks of the river until the sun had set and night had taken over. The night lights lit up and like magic the city turned golden against the royal-blue sky. It left me gasping for air. I gave up and sat under the bridge, staring at the perfect frame it provided for the Parliament on one side and the castle on the other side of the river. The Chain Bridge looked like a gorgeous gold necklace, and the Parliament was of course astonishingly enchanting.

That magical moment. The Hungarian Parliament and the Chain Bridge.

I repeatedly mention the parliament because, it demands that. I took many pictures of it, from different angles, with different frames, just to remind myself of how mystified I was at that moment. I would strongly recommend every one planning to go to Budapest to spend one evening by the riverbank just to soak in the view.


When it was time to end the trip, my entire being was exhausted. I absolutely love this feeling. Isn't it great when you crash on your bed and fall asleep instantaneously! I missed out on the famous and sought-after Budapest baths. I don't regret of course. I believe it is best to have unfinished business with your favourite people and places. It takes you back to them soon!

It's been a while now since i felt dreamy, full of aspirations and happiness about nothing in particular. I remember feeling like this when I was a school girl looking forward to the uncertainties that lay ahead. I feel the same way now. And, I can't be more grateful!

If 2010 was a year of bad decisions, 2011 has compensated and let me live it up. All the 'wrong decisions'  have only proven to be boons in disguise- made me value my surroundings and opportunities far more than I previously did.

We all have a Master-Aim in life which has got nothing to do with having successful careers, making our favourite people happy, having a comfortable life, or having a lavish life. The Master-Aim is usually something we dream for ourselves and something that wants us to break away from our routine, whatever it may be. And I believe we all get a chance to break away and make that Master-Aim possible; most of us even do.

Right now, I am looking at a possibility of fulfilling both- my aim and my Master-Aim. There's no other place I'd rather be!

Mumbai rains filling me up

It is believed to make Mumbai look 'romantic' and 'beautiful'. It is the ruthless beauty people want to abstain from but can't resist falling in love with. It slows down the city which is in a perennial state of hurry. The Mumbai Rain has arrived.

I'll fail to understand what's so romantic about wading through the muck or getting drenched right before entering office or college (School kids are always happy). I fail to understand the aesthetics involved in over-flowing sewers and stench that gets a booster from the rains.

But, i admit, I love the rains here! It has a strange calming effect on the city. The fast pace exists, only it is happier now. I have been in other places during the rains, and even if the momentum of the rain drops were similar, Mumbai responds differently to the rains.

There are dull rains, boring rains, depressing rains, creepy rains, lazy rains, scary rains, truculent rains and miserly rains. Rains in Mumbai are  generous and happy rains. It satiates your monsoon cravings and sometimes fills you up (and the city) a bit too much. The good part is that Mumbai is ready for the rains - only mentally. There are huge puddles filled with water that looks like coffee. As long as I don't have to negotiate with these man holes and car holes, i'm not complaining! However, I wish people in the admin would gobble up less public money and put at least some portion of it to use here.

I love the bus/auto ride to University with the rain spraying on me and I'm happy as long as it is only rain water that fills my shoes. Today I saw a couple maneuvering their way out of what clearly looked like very very dirty  water from a nearby drain. I cringed, but when I looked at their faces, it seemed like they were walking through a path laden with rose petals. More than Mumbai,  Mumbai people intrigue me. But, I like it in when it rains here!

Full Circle

I have been resisting the temptation to get back to my blog with yet another one about my unwavering love for Delhi! However, by virtue of me heading back to this city for a summer internship, Delhi has swept me off my feet yet again. And, I have finally given into the urge to write about it.
A trip to Delhi in summer? I got to have some major reason! I have. Many!

Now, i don't want to sound bad for Mumbai University, but that place did make me quite passive for the past one year. I noticed that creep up on me, but i was hardly much able to  shake it off me. So, the only possible escape route i could envision was a summer stint in Delhi. After much effort, patience, frustration I received a confirmation call from IDSA for a month long internship with them. And, the victory dance that followed was one of a kind!

I also wanted to get back to Delhi before i began my second year in Mumbai (so that i didn't have much Mumbai all over me). I know that's provincial parochialism, but what the hell! I feel the need to list down the things I missed about this place, so I will.
1. The broad, smooth roads. The vast gardens, the Amaltaash and Gulmohar trees which are in full bloom now splashing the city with their bright and delicate yellows and fiery oranges.
2. The DTC buses which have now become smart and swanky. Making the roads look better with their green, red, orange and purple contributions!
3. The extreme weather. The heat has been intense and it has sapped a lot out of me for sure. When I was about to slump on a chair and give up, we had a strong dust storm followed by fat drops of water from the skies shaking my soul up.
4. My all weather friends here. I know this should be right up on this list. But being the friends they are, they won't mind.
5. The dashes of good looking people all around. No matter where one is. (Does that make me sound vain? Do i care? No!)
6. The intelligence all around. IDSA has been an amazingly stimulating experience for me. Having so many people wanting to and doing the things that I aim to and am working towards, I suddenly see things more sorted out for me.
More on IDSA now. The Institute for Defence Studies and Analyses. A think tank organization and what style! Go on their website if this interests you. I have come across such a large number of interesting people that i feel i needed more time here to take back more with me.

We have 'Research Clusters' at IDSA and the group of interns here who are the fun lot here, have set aside 'Lunch clusters', 'Ice cream clusters' as well.

So, on one of the lunch times, I expressed my desire to make a trip to Old Delhi and my Cabin partner said in almost my style "let's go". It took me some time to realise what she said, and when i did, i couldn't be more thankful! We did go. And the day had to be the hottest Summer day yet- with Delhi searing at 44 degrees. We went for it. A super fast and packed trip down the mystery lanes of Chandni Chowk. Pani Puri-check. Mango Kulfi-check. Now let me write a bit about this piece of heaven called the 'Mango Kulfi'. Alphonso mangoes- de seeded and filled with kulfi and frozen. Served after being sliced and spread on a large leaf made into a bowl. It takes much time to convince oneself to eat it! And when you do, your eyes close out of their own will and you go into a mango world while the kulfi reminds you of its presence time and again. okay, so after that trip to heaven, we headed for the 'Paranthe wali galli' where we saw not-so-appealing men deep frying paranthas on huge pans. It was too hot for that. So, we gave it a skip and headed for the 'Desi Jalebis'. A long walk it was in search of the 'T-junction' which seemed to be running away from us. Almost out of breath and about to collapse, we saw our life savior- the Malai Lassi in Kulhards. One sip and you can almost see your escaping soul come back to you. Just then we noticed a man with a big piece of wood beating the crap out of a big block of ice covered with a big sheet of black rubber on the road. And just when i was thinking..'wow, that's a lot of work on a summer day", I stop stunned as a tiny piece of ice makes itself felt in my mouth! Too late, the lassi is too good to be thrown away. The Lassi guy smiles at us almost saying "We are like that only, kindly adjust and don't mind". We break into shrieks of laughter and head for our destination. Finally, Desi Jalebis! These are supposedly 'Jehangiri Jalebi' that were the Mughal emperor's favourites! We all love such stories, don't we?
What can be better than a cool and fast Metro ride after this crazy day out! The announcer's concern about the traveler's safety.. "Please mind the Gap", "Doors will open on the Left"..bring a tear to my eyes as i remember the ruthless local train rides in Mumbai that i have to return to! Let's not crib about Mumbai here. It just has to be my punching bag. I feel bad.

With just week remaining of my internship here and the first draft of my paper on Cote D'Ivoire gone for scrutiny at my Supervisor's, all I have to do is to look out of my cabin at the palms swaying along the cool winds that have brought a huge respite for all of us here, and listen to the super fun FM Radio.

As I finish a year in Mumbai...

I am about to finish a year of stay in Mumbai, and I believe there couldn't be a better time to bring my blog back into life!

So many things have happened in this one year since I said a sad goodbye to Delhi and moved to Mumbai for my education here. The first question people ask me is: "why did you choose Mumbai over Delhi for education?". I can understand their astonishment. I give them a number of reasons- I didn't sit for the JNU exam, I missed the DU forms, I wasn't fond of my job, and I missed home. Some of them tell me I should have waited and appeared for JNU/DU exams the following year. Yes, now I agree.

A year of being away from Delhi and i still can't get over it. Why? Isn't it supposed to be an un-friendly city, unsafe for girls, full of thugs, no night-life, pervert auto-rickshaw drivers, and full of men who keep staring till one turns to powder? All that yes, maybe.

Delhi's beauty-it is one of the greenest capital cities of the world. It's many layers of history- you drive around the posh and shiny localities of Delhi and suddenly at a corner you can spot the remains of a fort/tomb/an ancient structure protected from the modern world. It's nightlife- yes Delhi has a nightlife, and you are enjoying it best when you drive down Rajpath, cross the India gate and head towards the Rai Sinha Hill past the Vijay Chowk and stop to have a stick of ice cream on a spine chilling December night. The Chinese chaat at one of the best places to shop, Lajpat Nagar. Big Chill at Khan Market, which is also home to Khan Chacha's. The smart mouthed Blue line bus conductors who have an unmatched sense of humour and the crude yet amusing Jatt conversations. The intellectual crowd that one comes across at the India Habitat Centre. Old Delhi's history laden lanes. All this makes up the Delhi that I fell in love with the very first day I stepped into it in the year 2007.

Delhi was my first city. I grew up in the small towns of Panvel, Nazira and Ankleshwar. Yet, for some reason I was always preparing myself for Delhi. I would bathe in cold water telling myself it would be colder in Delhi. I always knew I would be in Delhi for some part of my education, I never knew when that would be. I landed myself into an under graduate course of Journalism in Delhi university. I knew immediately that I would be accepted without a fuss, and i did blend into the city before I or anyone else knew it. Three years passed and I never realized the days going past me. I made friends who I know I will have for the rest of my life. In short, I lived my life. I joined work immediately after I finished college and got overwhelmed by it before I had imagined. I needed to leave.Also, not having friends around after college made me a little bit less fond of Delhi (for which I feel guilty)! So, there was an attempt to go back home which had shifted to Mumbai.

Then it was time for me to bid goodbye, for which i never had enough time- I had just a day to get my tickets in place, pack my bags and leave. I remember my last bus ride in Delhi that night. I tried to fill my mind with the pictures of the roads, the buildings, the trees, the night in Delhi, the people, the bus stands, everything that had crossed my sight in the last three years.

I wanted desperately to go back to being a college student. Mumbai university and an M.A degree became the means. I entered the university and was hit by a strong craving for my old college and its people! I wanted to turn around and run back. I made life difficult for my folks by telling them every day how much I missed Delhi, its roads,its gardens, its people and its public transport. I missed even the rick drivers who refused to turn on the meters! It is not difficult to imagine what these people around me were going through. I was on a non-stop Mumbai bashing. I criticized the lack of aesthetic sense, the garbage strewn all around, the mind boggling traffic and the narrow roads. I spared nothing.

Finally, one day I found 'enjoying' myself in Mumbai. I felt a funny feeling of betraying Delhi. I was alarmed! How could I like Mumbai? Had I unknowingly started appreciating the democratic side of Mumbai, where one of the richest men and one of the biggest slums co-exist? Had i become an admirer of the discipline within the chaotic city? Or had I just blended into it like I had in Delhi? Maybe. I did take my sweet time to do so. But ya, if given a choice, I would want to run back to Delhi right now! :-)