My 23rd birthday brought with it my many Firsts. It has been three months since I arrived in Dresden and started a new life, a life so different from the one that I had back home. Living all by myself, managing money that for the first time was strictly limited, cooking without my Mother's supervision, doing laundry and remembering to keep my kitchen stocked up, waking up to the annoying alarm rings and making myself breakfast while struggling to convince myself to do the same- these are things I always knew I'll have to do some day, and I had always looked forward to being independent; but when it actually hit me, it overwhelmed me. The realisation that I couldn't ask for a few crispy notes from my Father's wallet after I had finished my Month's pocket-money, felt like a jolt. Eating my meals all alone with a movie playing on my computer months after months makes me miss the rule back home- the family eats together, no matter what! Yes, I do miss home...but, that doesn't mean I want to leave this life and go back. Not yet!
This place and this life makes me stronger as a person, and I think I'll finally 'grow up'. It is a bitter-sweet experience and so far, more sweet than bitter. New experiences, new places, new people, new food, new languages, new cultures, new everything! Isn't this what I have always craved for and isn't this what I enthusiastically signed up for when I signed on the scholarship acceptance form?! As my parents and professors said, living abroad all by myself wouldn't be full of sunshine always; there'll be dark, cold and gloomy days too. Starting to learn from scratch about surviving, living and being all by oneself can be disorienting at times- especially when one desires to do a lot of things and 'experience it all'. So, I often tell myself, 'Hey, what's the hurry? slow down a bit!'.
I have realised that there'll be Good-byes and Hellos galore. As I visit new places and meet new people, goodbyes will follow invariably. It is astonishingly easy to be good to people here and also to get attached to them knowing fully well that if not you, they will leave...soon. Being far away from family and friends that you grew up with makes you want to cling desperately to someone who seems even slightly similar. I guess that is the reason why it is so easy and quick to make friends here; because everyone wants to feel at home. The more goodbyes this place makes you say, the more independent and strong you become as a person. And, the better you understand the worth of the 'permanent people' in your life. I have realised that being far from home doesn't make you distant. It only strengthens the bond, and makes you value your roots more than you previously did. When something beautiful takes away my breath and i turn to no body in particular to point it out to them, i understand how important it is to share your happiness with your favourite people!
I am amidst some wonderfully interesting people here. My friends here hail from different parts of the world, their countries so far away from mine, and their cultures so different from mine, we could be from different planets. Yet, there's something so basic, simple and beautiful that binds us together and makes us want to be 'there for each other'. We tell each other how we have to be family for the next two years (the few of us that'll be together). And, that's how we understand how important our families and friends back home are...when we strive to find a temporary replacement!
